Oldy but goody...

Written at the beginning of the year, 2004...

Everyone creates resolutions. Deep down we believe we will follow through. What makes 2004 any different? Nothing, except that we mean well. One of these days that will be enough. My resolutions...to eat right and exercise more. Goodbye coca-cola and ice cream! I mean well. My last resolution is I'm going to save the world! When I get tears in my eyes, a knot in my throat and it is hard to breathe...for me it is not just an ordinary emotion.

At a memorial service I listened to a son speak about how is father loved. How he loved his God, his family, his friends, his neighbors and how he loved...well, everyone. I heard how this man made a difference. Do I make that kind of impact? Do I love like that? What if I don't? Then I will never be a world changer. I used to be when I was passionate about making a difference, about loving the unlovely, about loving my God.

There was a night several years ago...but only two months after I started a job working with the unlovely. I began to feel the kids I was around were not worth the stress to even try. As I watched them sleep so seemingly peaceful, my God said this...

Frustration. Confusion.
Is it all worth it?
Threats. Rudeness.
Is it all worth it?
Depends on who you are.
Depends on what you are made of.
Are you strong?
Are you bold?
Do you have courage?
Do you have compassion?
It's the heart, not the mind.
Do you care?
Do you love?
Can you love the unlovely?
Is it possible?
Make up your mind to open your heart.
Open your heart to let them in.
Let them in to make a difference.
Make a difference to change the world.
Change the world because they are worth it!

So there! It's a choice. It's not, "Will I make a difference?" It's "I WILL make a difference!" I've made up my mind and I mean well.

Maybe I should look at this old resolution and make it a new one...

My new blog...

From June 4, 2007...

hi all. i've decided to start this blog thingy....more for my own benefit than for anyone else's, simply because i need to start writing again. so, i've decided to mix some current thoughts and writings in with some of what i will call "oldy but goody." those will be entries from my original online blogs. some of you may have read those and may remember some of them. some of those entries were full of raw emotion and for me reading them again reminds me of some good times and some trials and the emotion that was felt during those times. and by reading them i am reminded of the resolutions i had made at those times and need to refocus on..so, enjoy, or not...but i'll write and enjoy it myself...